The 5 Most Disturbing Wikipedia Articles About Sex
With Wikipedia containing basically the collective knowledge of the entire human race (scary!) there are bound to be a few dirty articles on there. Unlike a site such as Urban Dictionary, where the goal is humour, even Wikipedia’s most foul articles always strive to inform. In a way its a lot like the first time you have sex ed, except instead of the teacher awkwardly trying to explain how procreation works, they’re explaining what bagpiping is (curious? read on).
Note: I’d just like to say that it’s the wording I find disturbing (example: sex with armpits known as ‘bagpiping’) as opposed to the actual article itself (’Outercourse’) which I have no problem with. The article isn’t meant to be the 5 most disturbing sexual fetishes, just the 5 most disturbing wikipedia articles about sex.
1. Anilingus
Opening Line: Anal-oral sex, also referred to or described as anal-oral contact or anilingus (from anus + -lingus), is a form of oral sex involving contact between the anus or perineum of one person and the mouth (lips) or tongue of another.
Most Disturbing Part: Absolutely has to be the line that comes right after it, which is, “Non-clinical, slang terms include rimming, rim-job, salad tossing, butt/ass licking and eating ass.” Can you imagine what the person who wrote that was thinking when they added those? My personal favourite part of this article is that there’s a huge argument in the discussion section over whether or not ‘biting the brown’ should be included as a slang term. I guess they decided on no, probably because they wouldn’t want to disturb the serious tone of the article set by ‘butt/ass licking’.
2. Outercourse
Opening Line: Non-penetrative sex (also known as outercourse and dry sex) is sexual activity without vaginal, anal, and possibly oral penetration, as opposed to intercourse.
Most Disturbing Part: What starts out as a seemingly innocuous article takes a surprising turn when the list of types of outercourse shows up. Most of them are pretty standard but the first entry, “Axillary sex, where a man rubs his penis into another person’s armpit, also known as bagpiping” ranks up there as one of the weirdest sexual things I’ve ever heard of in my life.
3. Fisting
Opening Line: Fisting, fist fucking, FF, (also known by gay men as Handballing) is a sexual activity that involves inserting the hand and forearm into the vagina or anus.
Most Disturbing Part: If you thought the part in parentheses there was the most disturbing, you’re in for quite a shock. The article goes on to explain in the next line that the clenched fist is almost never inserted into the orifice. Instead, a technique known as the silent duck is used (pictured below).
The article goes on to explain what to do after you actually manage to get the silent duck inside. Two of your options are ‘vigorous punch fisting’ (also known as piston fisting, of course) and ‘My Hands In Your Pockets’, where you insert one silent duck into the vagina, one into the anus, then, wait for it, ’shake your hands like maracas’. Reading that on Wikipedia shocked me more than the first time I heard my mom drop an F-bomb.
Opening Line: Tribadism or tribbing is a form of mutual masturbation, sometimes called frottage, in which a woman rubs her vulva against her partner’s body for sexual stimulation
Most Disturbing Part: Much like the anilingus article, Wikipedia veers off the track when they list all the slang terms for it. And I quote, “Genital-genital tribadism is known by many colloquialisms such as “scissoring”, “bumping donuts”, “clit-clatting”, “pussy grinding”, “mashing cookies”, “grinding beans”, “clam jousting”, “touching tacos” or “bumping fur”. Can I just point out that basically none of those, especially the ones to do with food, sound like a good time at all (except maybe clam jousting, which I’d pay through the nose to see).
5. Facial
Opening Line: In a sexual context, a facial (also known as a facial cumshot) is the slang term for the sexual activity in which one person directs an ejaculation onto the face of another person, often following oral sex, intercourse, or other stimulation.
Most Disturbing Part: If you thought it was the line, “Some practitioners of sex magick will use the patterning of semen on the receiving partner’s face in divination rituals akin to the “reading” of tea leaves “, you would be oh so wrong. The picture for this article is by far the most disturbing I’ve ever seen on Wikipedia. Here’s a link for you brave souls (very NSFW).
There you have it. I hope you all enjoyed this raunchy tour through everyone’s favourite online encyclopedia.
Apparently you don’t understand what Wikipedia is. “Nearly all of its articles can be edited by anyone with access to the Internet.”
“Can you imagine what the person who wrote that was thinking when they added those?”
-Look at the edit history, it probably wasn’t one person.
“I guess they decided on no” and “veers off the track when they list all the slang terms”
- They who? You can go to the page an change it yourself
Fisting and Rim Jobs, while not appealing to me, are certainly not odd or ‘disturbing’ for anyone who had friends to joke with as a teenager.
I find it strange that you would be shocked by anything you find on a website that can be edited by anyone who chooses to do so.
The wording is still hilarious man. Come on, ’shake your hands like maracas’?
Anyway the article was written with what was intended to be a humorous and light-hearted slant so I’m more concerned with whether you were entertained (apparently not) than whether my phrasing re: Wikipedia’s policies is appropriate.
Funny, yes. Disturbing, no. Either change your title and edit your article, or expect people to see you as the old bitter maid you sound like.
Where do you live? The darkest midwest? Grow up.. I haven’t found anything even remotely shocking in your list.
Lemme guess, you’re one of those who needs to switch off the lights when you’re gettin’ it on, right? Cute.
Are you a fucking child?
Would you prefer to pretend these things didn’t exist? You can’t have you very own reality. “Disturbing” is an opinion, YOUR opinion.
Wow, I don’t know if those are the most disturbing or not.. but you’re spot on about the hilarity of those descriptions.
“shake your hands like maracas”.. I can see someone not walking for a week..
Thanks for the comments guys!
I wonder if these comments say more about the assholes writing them than about the article itself. I’d like to see some original writing from the elementary school students who puked out all of this negative shit.
Any asshole can destroy.
Disturbing for whom? Those who are naive and inexperienced or fatally conventional? Gee, guess what! There are other forms of sex out there besides oral and vaginal, and people can be very imaginative about what they put where. Time to wake up and answer the clue phone — it’s ringing for YOU. So what that there are a lot of different, alternative, unusual sex practices out there? Big deal. I think a lot of this is only disturbing to you… time to widen your thinking if not your realm of experiences.
Yes, anybody can destroy, so allow me to illuminate what I think is wrong with this article.
Here in the US there is a Puritannical, anti-sex attitude. Sex is constantly portrayed as dirty, naughty, wrong. Gays are persecuted because of the sex they have. Women who sleep around are sluts and whores, and god forbid media depict them enjoying their bodies (”This Film is Not Yet Rated”). Our President was Impeached for a blowjob.
The sexual immaturity that FAR too many people have in the US is greatly disturbing, and offensive, to those of us who don’t giggle and titter over sexual activities. The narrow-mindedness that many people have over sex and sexual activities upsets us when people are arrested for them, or lose their job over them (numerous politicians). We very much wish people would mind their own business and stop passing judgement, with real consequences, on those of us who enjoy our bodies and enjoy using them in exotic ways.
While this article doesn’t say anything about that, its “tee-hee, lookit the boobies!” attitude is indicative of the immature attitude that many of us wish would go away.
For a, IMO, refreshing look at a healthy sexual attitude, read this page:
http://www.snipeme.com/archive.php?year=2007&rant=correcting_sexual_ignorance
@Eric: Just a small point but Clinton was impeached for perjury and obstruction of justice, not for getting head in the Oval Office … Those are pretty serious things even if it was all really about silly American bipartite politics. Just thought the record should be set straight lest Truthyness kicks in.
Oh and yeah, nothing especially new or at all disturbing in those snippets Northernlion, not in my opinion anyway. I’m not going to flame you. I think your innocence is (in some ways) sweet. How old are you?
I dont’ find any of these disturbing. Various people have different fetishes, wants, and desires. Each to their own. What happens in anyone’s bedroom is not the business of the rest of the world no matter how people may view it.
You people are all whiney bitches.. it’s a bit of fun ffs. It doesn’t take a genious to know that wikipedia can be edited by anyone, and that people do other things than simply oral and vaginal. Shut up with the constant moaning. I for one found some of the things in this article rather amusing.
why did you not talk about the “Mammary intercourse” entry:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tit_fuck
Now I do know a few disturbing sexual things that may interest wiki friends..
My first would be the hot and sexy gerbil;
The creature is invited through a funnel (toilet paper, or paper towel roll will do..) Then he runs for life through the maze of miles of intestines.. awesome!
Shrimping is a favorite dish of many gay men.. a straw is inserted in the anus after many have ejaculated.. mmmm tasty treat
Let us not forget scat….
Shall I continue?
you are boring, i pity you
Some of you just can’t wait to jump on this person’s lack of your own self-perceptions of coolness and sexual sophistication…much more pathetic than this list…you take yourselves way more seriously than the author.
But keep jabbing people this way in comment sections if it makes you feel like you know something others don’t. Eventually i’m sure someone will be just begging you to teach them your awesome ways!
omg! clam jousting…soo much fun, lmao! I’ve never heard so many analogies for lesbo action, lol.
The problem with the post is that it just seems a little immature. It makes me think of those people who come to IRC and say (in isolation) “pussy”. They must find their wit and guile enormously entertaining as they sit in their bedroom and snigger to themselves (and once upon a time most of us probably did too), but after a point you grow out of that it and the dude just sounds like a bit of a twat.
This list smacks of immaturity. Maybe hes just a kid and we should all be more forgiving of his idea of whats entertainingly bizarre, but thats not how the post comes across, hence all the negative comments.
Shit man !! *i honestly didnt want to start my post with such a word buttttt …. *
I havent heard of half the stuff that you have mentioned in my post… and the thght of fisting sends shivers down my .. errrrr… lol everywher actually
I mean like !!! doesnt it hurt and stuf.. and isnt it dangerous or anythin ??
Wierd :S
That’s one of the best parts of Wikipedia. You cannot find those in formally-censored encyclopedia.
Ah bless. It’s nice to know that some people still do it the dark with the lights off.
You’re a teenage boy aren’t you?
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Aber ein bißchen Lust auf alte Bekannte hat doch jeder und wenn man sich selbst irgendwo als Suchender deklariert tun es vielleicht auch die die man sucht….
Amusing article. Too bad for you some people cannot appreciate the difference between immaturity and juvenile humor… it SHOULD make you at least grin no matter how “mature” you think you are… unless of course you have some sort of narcissistic preoccupation with being “better” than everyone else.
BTW, my 2 cents: I have always heard “Shrimping” called “Felching”… just image the sucking sound a straw and a gooey sphincter might make… oog.
Now excuse me while I go wretch…
Man this article absolutely cracked me up the one about sex with an armpit, called bagpiping that about made me spit my pop all over the place. I love how the other refers to these as disturbing…..love the article learned a few things and am giving it a thumbs up on stumbleupon
This post reminds me of when I would look up dirty words in the dictionary. Seeing ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’ in print gave me a prurient thrill.
This is the same thing.
Grow up.
I’m kind of shocked there was no mention of scat, bestiality, vomiting, pedophilia, or any number of things that are far, far, far more disturbing than anything listed here. Nothing listed here is abnormal, shocking, or disturbing to me.
Although I had heard of most and even read a few of those entries I didn’t quite see the humor until I read this entry and I appreciated your take on them.
I caught that one comment that mentioned the authors focus was to be more amusing than disturbing. In which case I agree with Frank-you need to edit your article.
However I slightly suspect it to be a bit of saving face. I would never ever insult someone over exhibiting sexual ignorance though. To do so is to actually contribute to the Puritan dichotomy Eric was talking about. As with all false dilemmas if you fuel either side by chastising those who are undersexed AND oversexed we utterly fail in ever being free from this double standard and proving to others that sex is no big deal.
This is hilarious, but there’s far more disturbing wikipedia articles. I understand you’re not looking for the most shocking acts, but with those shocking acts comes some even more awkward and hilarious wording. The fisting one was still pretty much hilarious though.
I am a lesbian in a committed relationship and most of these acts are commonplace in our bedroom. I don’t find our sex life “disturbing” at all, I find it wholesome, erotic and completely satisfying.
For all those who got personally insulted over a silly little blog entry - I pity you.
While I was definitely expecting a lot more raunchy list, I did laugh and smile at a few things, so thank-you Northerlion.
If that makes me immature, fine. But it also probably means I’ll live longer than you grumps because I can laugh and know when to take certain things seriously or not.
He wasn’t being crude and bashing anyone. He was merely sharing his initial reaction to hearing about these things. I can guarantee that not a single person who reacted negatively to this article can say they have always accepted something they have never experienced before with a smile and a “Oh, neat!”.
Good lord people get a life. The guy is entitled to his own opinion as are you and I. I am sure there are many more things in this world you can disagree, whine and complain about. Kumba ya fucking kumba ya……
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pearl_necklace_%28sexuality%29
Here’s a better graphic for you. Yikes.
That is disturbing too just because they show actual sement: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pearl_necklace_%28sexuality%29
hahaha its really funny. u guys are jokers, stupid-looking-idiots. hahaha
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Funny article, even tho I don’t find the actions themselves disturbing I agree that the psuedo-scientific wording along with the slang terms is quite weird. Really, picture your grandma reading the wiki article to you and I think you’ll get more the true “disturbed” feeling Northerlion’s talking about here. It’s even in the note before the article that its the wording that he finds weird, not the actions.
The most disturbing outcome of reading “the 5 most disturbing blah blah blah”.
It’s 5 min. of my life I can never get back. For what so some one with a keyboard can whine about Wikipedia ,and how its not serious enough, and contains disturbing info, and pictures. what I really find disturbing is that the writer starts out the bitch blog with “With Wikipedia containing basically the collective knowledge of the entire human race ” STOP, STOP!!! If you think that Wiki has all the info,and knowledge of the human race then log off power down, and tune out. You have reach the end of the Internet, and the end of the line.
I got 5 books in my den that contain information that Wiki does not even touch on. Want an example! a 1956 9th edition of “The Merck Manual”. Want another 1958 “LITTLE AND IVES COMPLETE BOOK OF SCIENCE ILLUSTRATED”. You say,but Royce how can it be that old books have some sort of knowledge that wiki doesn’t impossible. Wrong, over the past 40 year science has made advances by leaps, and bounds casting aside one process,or illustration for the next new thing. Forgotten are the ways and things of old. Not all knowledge or idea’s that were tossed aside for new was wrong. It just wasn’t new it work fine,but for what ever the reason change,abandoned,and forgotten .It might have been at least with some things that the equipment,or supply of something needed was short, and so other ways were developed. The way ,how ,who,and the when have made both small, and very large impacts upon the human race as a whole. Never presume that any one thing,person,data base, or book contains all or everything to think that would be very closed minded.
nothing is real….
To be honest, I don’t agree with you, but you marked some good points here.
Are you 12?
The cum witch stuff is getting big…. look at this one:
http://www.freewebs.com/splatters
no more in wiki though….
I couldn’t understand some parts of this article ost Disturbing Wikipedia Articles About Sex | The List Blog, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.
onvnsN hi! hice site!
haha. should I be ashamed if I have heard (and joked about) nearly all of these. lol
None of these were new to me, but i still find them hilarious. especially “shaking the hands like maracas.” lmao!
Wow… I would love to have this many comments on my blog, even if they are mostly negative.
My comment is about number 4, which should be titled ‘Tribadism (Scissoring)’ since Tribadism is the actual term. Wikipedia only mentions a very small number of the colloqualisms and certainly not the most outrageous ones. I’ve compiled a list of nearly a hundred including such jewels as: rose-bud-thud, Battle at the Red Bridges, Boiling Eggs, Cut Melon Smashing, Tuna Taco Tango and the most disturbing of all ‘Slapping a Brace of Gutted Rabbits.’